R.I.P. My Sweet Baron

It's taken six days to get to a point where I can talk about the decision that John and I had to make last week, probably the hardest one we've had to in our ten-plus years together.  For a while now, I'd been preparing for the day when I had to say goodbye to Baron, and that day came on Friday, Oct. 1.  You think you're ready for something like that, and despite knowing that you're doing it for the best reasons, the pain it brings is unreal.  He was the best friend a girl could ever ask for, and I miss him enough to feel it physically.  It's amazing how a pet can become that much a part of your life.  Baron did, and words don't justify how much I miss him.

But John and I are able to start talking about him a little and remember the good times, and trust me, there were TONS of those.  They far outweigh any and everything.

So while I don't have much to say these days, I'm still around and kicking - slowly getting back into the swing of life.  My God, I have a wedding in just over a month and those days are flying by.  I ordered my wedding dress (not a traditional one, just a cute little silver number), and it's on its way to me now.  While my mom thinks that it's too dark, I like it and found a shawl that a good friend gave me a few years ago to pair with it.  Next on my list is a pair of kick-ass boots to go with the ensemble, and I'm going to be one rockin' bride (ha, screw heels).

My reading is spotty, but it's helped get me through some of the tougher moments and forced me to concentrate on something else besides that empty spot on the couch where Baron used to sleep.  Once or twice I could swear I've heard the jingle from his collar, so I think he's still around, keeping tabs on me and Hairless (uh, that would be John).

Damnit, I thought I was done crying...