Thursday, October 7, 2010

R.I.P. My Sweet Baron

It's taken six days to get to a point where I can talk about the decision that John and I had to make last week, probably the hardest one we've had to in our ten-plus years together.  For a while now, I'd been preparing for the day when I had to say goodbye to Baron, and that day came on Friday, Oct. 1.  You think you're ready for something like that, and despite knowing that you're doing it for the best reasons, the pain it brings is unreal.  He was the best friend a girl could ever ask for, and I miss him enough to feel it physically.  It's amazing how a pet can become that much a part of your life.  Baron did, and words don't justify how much I miss him.

But John and I are able to start talking about him a little and remember the good times, and trust me, there were TONS of those.  They far outweigh any and everything.

So while I don't have much to say these days, I'm still around and kicking - slowly getting back into the swing of life.  My God, I have a wedding in just over a month and those days are flying by.  I ordered my wedding dress (not a traditional one, just a cute little silver number), and it's on its way to me now.  While my mom thinks that it's too dark, I like it and found a shawl that a good friend gave me a few years ago to pair with it.  Next on my list is a pair of kick-ass boots to go with the ensemble, and I'm going to be one rockin' bride (ha, screw heels).

My reading is spotty, but it's helped get me through some of the tougher moments and forced me to concentrate on something else besides that empty spot on the couch where Baron used to sleep.  Once or twice I could swear I've heard the jingle from his collar, so I think he's still around, keeping tabs on me and Hairless (uh, that would be John).

Damnit, I thought I was done crying...        

7 comments:

Lori said...

Aww, my sympathies. You're right, it is the hardest decision ever, and the first time I made it on my own was devastating. It's wonderful to remember the sweet times with your pet. I hope that you and John have many years of wonderful memories to relive.

And about the wedding? Wow - sounds like you've picked out a rockin ensemble. Can't wait to see pictures of it!

Renee@Modus Operandi Designs said...

Love you, Ames. I'm so sorry. I know how much Barron meant to you and your right, there's no way to ever prepare yourself for the loss your experiencing.
I wish I could be there to help you shop for your boots, cause you KNOW this woman loves to shop! I can't wait to see how it all turns out.

Love you girlie. It'll get easier. Till then, just know your are loved.

Katiebabs/ KB said...

((HUGS))

Amy said...

Thanks, guys. Nee, I love ya too, honey. I just remembered, OMG, I've known you almost as long as Baron owned me. LOL!

CindyS said...

I'm so sorry to hear about Baron but it sounds like he had a super pair of peeps to love him. And what a handsome little man.

And only a month left! Sounds like you are planning to kick up your heels on your day. Much luck and happiness sent your way.

CindyS

Wendy said...

All the SL'ers were sorry to hear about Baron :( He was also part of our merry lil' band....

And OMG - your wedding is only a month away now? Where the heck has the time gone? Heh, which I'm sure is a question you're asking yourself right about now....

Amy said...

It's sad -- Friday morning, I just started crying for no reason other than B's food dish wasn't where it used to be. :-(

BUT, the days do get slightly better. Now if only I could scare up some blogging mojo and come up with a thought or twelve to wax on about.